Anxietys

My mind has had nothing but depression and anxiety weighing it down for the past couple of days. Today isn't much better...

All three of my friends say I need to see a shrink...

maybe its because all three of them are seeing one. All three of them are on more than two kinds of meds like Zoloft, Paxil etc etc...

The ironic thing is, I'm afraid to even see one. Ive made four appointments with 'Seven Counties' and was a 'no show' four times. I openly write about my life in a blog, so why should I be afraid to openly talk about my problems to a shrink?

I don't want to have to talk about my childhood to someone with a pen and notepad. I had an emotionally painful childhood, and it feels better not having to bring all of that up. At the same time, I need to find out why I have so many anxiety attacks...why I cry so much and why I blame myself for so many things that I can't fix.

I can't really talk to my friends about this stuff because they don't understand.

They only say "You need to go to Seven Counties"...

D. says if I don't go, I'm putting myself at risk for a serious meltdown.

Too late for that...I've already had several serious meltdowns. I just never tell her about them.

I'm not sure if a "shrink" will actually cure any of it. I'm just afraid I'll end up having to be put on tons of meds and it will only heavily sedate me.