Cousins

Today the mailman wanted me to sign for something...

I didn't answer the door. I knew it was "him" sending me a letter or another one of his "so called" gifts.

My cousin and I didn't really grow up together. He moved away when he was around seven or eight years old. We never really got the chance to know each other.

We saw each other briefly, when I was twenty one.

And when I was thirty one, he said he was very much in love with me. I was really shocked, but at the same time, I had feelings for him, I told him that I love him too...just not the same kind of love though.

Something like that could never go very far, especially growing up in the family we have. That sort of thing is more than frowned upon.

I finally decided to cut off all contact with him, the pressure was becoming extremely intense.

I feel bad because I wish things could have been normal between us.

He'd told me before there were some states that accepted "cousin" marriages....

He did tons and tons of extensive research on the subject...and even told me about some forums that discussed people who actually did get married to their cousin.

He even mentioned how Theodore Roosevelt married his cousin...and Mayor Giuliani married his too...

I hate that things will never be normal between us...

I hate it...